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Y2K the Right Way: Welcome, Passengers, to the Titan A. E.

War, destruction and chaos: apparently these are all inevitable reactions to the human condition. Impressively the Earth, and humanity, has managed to survive into year 3028. Technology is at its peak and the planet has been relatively sustained to capacity. Unlike Logan’s Run it isn’t pollution, population and wars between nations that bring about the World’s gradual decline. The catalyst is alien hostility from a seemingly invincible adversary. But the solution process is still the same: make a regulated haven that can sustain the planet and the population. Just in case.

Enter the Dredge, an advanced species from a distant place in space who feel humanity’s advancement to be a threat to their power. Expectedly, Galactic war ensues and Earth is shattered to infinitesimal bits, forcing Earth’s inhabitants to take flight in emergency space vessels that drift along for the next 15 years, biding their time until the mother ship calls them home. Humans become the minority in the vast and terrifying universe, adapting and slithering by working odd jobs or keeping to the drifter colonies.

So here is the solution for a world torn to shreds: stock a fortress ship Noah’s Ark style. Launch humanity and the ingredients for a new Earth off into space until the day comes when humans can build a new world and reset the game plan. Nix the Peter Pan tunics sported by the populace of Logan’s Run, step out of the bubble-domed pleasure-city and into the alternative rock-techno-pop, mushroom-cut aesthetic of the dreaded year Y2K (Sorry, not the 90’s throwback I promised in the last article…) Regardless—voila! The Titan, man’s last hope for recreating the world as man knows it. If it were possible, the Titan would be the end-all-be-all, though not cheap, emergency solution to a planet that can no longer exist. It’s like those tiny capsules that expand into foam dinosaurs when placed in water. Say your planet blows up and everything is destroyed? No worries. Just heat this thing up with enough energy and in minutes it will pull in the surrounding space debris and ice to build a brand new planet supplied with billions of test-tube animals and plants to restock New Earth with organic goodies. How’s that for a quick fix plan B?

Of course this movie doesn’t really address the logistics of what happens when a planet spontaneously pops into an established galaxy, nor does it really explain the process of inseminating the planet with artificially reconstituted organisms. But really, by the powers vested in movie-magic we can just take it for granted that these things were already ironed out. It is a thousand years into the future after all.  And so, off we dive even deeper into the land of space survival solutions, deep into the center of our own solar system, settling only 38 years into our future where blowing up the sun is the only way to save it. On to Danny Boyle’s Sunshine…



Carisse Ramos, Guest blogger: “Carisse Ramos is a graduate from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago with a degree in Visual and Critical Studies. Besides blogging about geekery and thoughtful thinking, Carisse now works as a freelance writer, editor and visual artist in Chicago. Her writing focuses on using pop culture trends as a vehicle to facilitate productive dialogues.”

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